Continue reading »]]> So much gratitude for my “birthday moon” tonight, as a friend called it –  the most beautiful, bright, full moon – to close out my 30th year and welcome in a new one. I am back in Wyoming, where the solace of wide open space speaks most clearly to my heart right now, and I know this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

Grateful, as always, for the journey, and the reminders from nature that there is never a better “there” than “right here, right now.” Breathe it in! Let go of the stuff that isn’t serving you. Keep moving forward.

“In the end, I’ve come to believe in something I call “The Physics of the Quest.” A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.”

~ Eat, Pray, Love

“This looks like possibility,” said my friend Sheila.

Continue reading »]]> I can’t seem to keep my nose out of any of Brené Brown’s books lately (or her TED talk, or her two episodes on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday), and I recently came across this in her book, Daring Greatly: 

“Joy comes to us in moments – ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. Scarcity culture may keep us afraid of living small, ordinary lives, but when you talk to people who have survived great losses, it is clear that joy is not a constant. Without exception, all the participants who spoke to me about their losses, and what they missed the most, spoke about ordinary moments. “If I could come downstairs and see my husband sitting at the table and cursing the newspaper…”  ”If I could hear my son giggling in the backyard…” “My mom sent me the craziest texts – she never knew how to work her phone. I’d give anything to get one of those texts right now.” ”  

In the world of Facebook, social media, and celebrity obsessed culture, it’s easy to get the feeling that our lives don’t compare, that we’re missing out on exciting things, that we’re not traveling enough, or doing enough, or living BIG enough.

But the truth is, the living BIG is usually found in the SMALL.

Those ordinary moments might not even be obvious to us, because they are so much a part of our everyday routines.  How your husband leaves you notes on the fridge……the way your girlfriend never puts the cap back on the toothpaste….the sound of your neighbor’s laugh……or your kids playing……grandma’s  phone calls…..walks with your mom…….your coworker’s corny jokes……the cat scratching at the door…..nestling into that cozy pocket of the couch for your favorite program.

They are little, ordinary, everyday things. Things we probably don’t even know we’ll miss until they’re gone.

But let’s try. Let’s allow ourselves to see those ordinary moments of joy now. Let’s lean in harder to them. Let’s let them make us laugh and cry and be overwhelmed with beautiful gratitude.

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Oahu Blissology

One thing I will always know for sure: Hawaii is SO good for the soul, and a big ol’ piece of my heart still lives there.

I returned last week from a rejuvenating visit to the islands and feel like I’m still floating from my experience at the four day Wanderlust Festival on Oahu’s North Shore. I’ve been wanting to attend Wanderlust since it began, so when I heard the festival was going to Oahu, I knew I had to get there. Yoga, sunshine, ocean, music, beach, surf, nature, dancing, good people – all at Turtle Bay Resort, a place that has become so special to me in the last few years – I couldn’t miss this one for the world! And seriously, mama needed her tan back anyway Thanks to cheap airfare, my wonderful, hospitable friends in Hawaii, and a volunteer gig with the festival, I was able to make it all happen and I am so grateful that I did!

What I found so special about Wanderlust was simply being surrounded by other yogis – other sweet souls who find strength, solace, and connection on the mat, who appreciate the journey, savor simple moments, and aren’t afraid to get vulnerable and look inward. People who love to play and appreciate nature, and who know that while we’re all at unique stages in our journeys in yoga and in life, that we are all very much in this together.  It is a beautiful community, an awesome gathering and also just one heck of a kickass party! I like to surround myself with that kind of energy because it fires me up. It keeps me dreaming and motivated to conquer my big goals in life.  I feel alive, inspired and present. And isn’t that the point of this whole life thing? “Do what feels good for you.” Something you hear a lot in yoga classes. Actually I am reminded of this quote and I think it sums up nicely why many of us are drawn to Wanderlust.

The spirit of Wanderlust is powerful! And there we were, our feet literally on the ground, outside on the grass at Kuilima Point, surrounded by the ocean and swaying palms, breathing in the sweet Hawaiian breeze (or gale force winds, whatevah!) and practicing yoga in one of the most beautiful spots in the world.

I could go on and on about Wanderlust Oahu but here are a few of my personal highlights:

• Taking a class with Wanderlust co-creater Schuyler Grant, hopping in the ocean for a swim, and then taking another class with the amazing Blissologist Eoin Finn. Holy endorphins Batman.
• Groovin’ to DJ Drez and live music in every class. So awesome.
• Grabbing a seat at the pool bar at sunset for a pint of my favorite Blue Moon and making fast friends with Noelle, a yoga teacher from New Jersey who taught me I can actually throw my yoga mat in the washing machine to give it an extra thorough cleaning every now and then. Who knew! (I tried it, works like a charm).
• Reuniting on the beach with my girl Taylor from NYC that I haven’t seen in six years, who teaches yoga now and rocks acro like nobody’s business.
• Kickin’ it backstage with Zach Gill and the guys of ALO, some of the nicest guys on the planet. Not gonna lie, my volunteer assignment was pretty sweet!
• Dancing to  Michael Franti‘s ‘Sound of Sunshine” and “Life is Better with You” under the stars.
• Savoring the MAGIC that was Zoe Pappas’ Open Heart class. Favorite class of the whole festival. Amazing!
• Beginning the day sipping tea by the ocean with the beautiful soul that is Leslie Schipper
• Meeting Carlin from Ohio beside me in one class and then randomly finding ourselves next to each other in another class the next day. A class of like 300 people! Crazy universe.
• Taking classes with a couple hundred people! I’ve never experienced breathing and flowing with that many people in one space. It is the biggest, most beautiful dance. Major goosebumps.
• Waking up every morning with a sweet soreness and reminder that I am ALIVE!
• Gettin’ down on the dance floor at Surfer Bar with life force Jacki Carr, warrior Ironwoman Steph Corker and the Lululemon tribe from LA.
• Enjoying the entire festival with my best girl Kelsey B., from start to finish –  thai partner yoga massage class, Kuhuku lunches and all.
• Getting to know some of the talented and fun Wanderlust staff that work so hard to make this festival what it is.
• Ending the weekend with the most relaxing restorative Yin class with surfer/yogi extraordinaire Gerry Lopez.
• Capturing this beautiful moment in time from Kuilima point:

So much gratitude for an AMAZING weekend full of yoga love, connection and sweet aloha in the islands. This one’s going out to you Zoe Pappas!

Continue reading »]]> “Life is unfolding as it should.” One of my high school English teachers, Mrs. Hargreaves, said that in class one day and I never forgot it. I remember writing it in the margin of my notebook and I still find much comfort in it to this day.

I’m currently obsessed with Ben Howard’s album, Every Kingdom, and the funny thing is that I’ve been falling in love with Howard’s sweet voice for some time, and didn’t really put the pieces together until now. I posted this video on my blog in May, 2011, which is his song, ‘Old Pine,’ but I guess at the time, I never bothered to look up any of his other music.

This past November I was at the Starbucks in Honolulu airport, on my way home and heard a song playing with the lyrics, “Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.” I remember feeling like such a dork fumbling with my bags and my tea to get my phone out so I could Shazam it before it ended. I needed to know whose voice that was and who wrote those lyrics! I hit the button in time to see it was a musician named Ben Howard. I made a mental note to look him up later, but never did.

A couple of weeks ago my cousin Kate posted a song, ‘Only Love,’ on Facebook by a musician she’s digging named Ben Howard. Still didn’t compute, but I loved the song and wanted to hear more. I looked up Ben Howard. I found ‘Old Pine,’ recognized it and went archiving in my blog. Suddenly it all clicked. I immediately downloaded the album on Itunes and then discovered  ’Keep your Head up.’  I checked my Shazam history, and it all made me smile. Oh, sweet universe.

And really, it’s some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. I’m listening to it as I write this.

My point here, is that it took a good long while for this album to find its way into my life in its entirety. I heard bits and pieces and I was obviously drawn to it, but for whatever reason it all didn’t come together until now.

Life is unfolding as it should, said Mrs. Hargreaves.

In many ways, this past year has involved me reminding myself to “Keep my head up, keep my heart strong” every single day. My love story came to an abrupt end and I was left questioning everything. How do I keep my heart strong when it’s broken? How do I move on? How do I ever trust again? What did I do wrong? And why, oh why, is life unfolding like this?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. But I am trying to live the crap outta the questions over here, Rilke.

It’s been a heart wrenching year full of uncertainty.  I had tough, anger filled moments and days.  I physically couldn’t do heart opening poses in my yoga classes without an overwhelming feeling that I was going to pass out every time.  I cried on my mat more times than I’d like to admit. I felt betrayed by my own heart and my own gut for leading me to what felt like a dead end.  I scornfully dismissed certainty and wrote things like this.

I wanted a Shazam button for my life.

WHY? *push button*

But you carry on. You do your best. You keep your head up. You try to be kind and gentle with yourself. You breathe. You find a home in yoga. You let yourself feel. You lean where you need to. You keep going. You pack your bags for a ranch in Wyoming because you know you need the wilderness and wide open space.

Like finding a song here and a song there, you take the bits and pieces of the journey as they come, as the universe presents them to you. And you know, as Rilke says, that you will live your way into the answers one day, when you’re ready. Then you will smile and again say, Oh, sweet universe.

Until then, you know that the greatest love story of all, is really the one entirely made up of you, so you put your whole heart into writing that one.

I love LOVE. Whether your heart is broken, healing, or swooning this Valentine’s Day, THIS grateful, beating heart of mine over here is sending yours some big love and a sweet reminder that it’s all unfolding as it should.

Continue reading »]]> Today, in a little coffee shop in East Vancouver, I was inspired.

My cousin’s partner Jeff is an extremely gifted and accomplished composer. He has written music for over 75 dance, theater and film productions in Canada and abroad, and is an integral member of the Vancouver theater community.

Being, of course, that his work is largely done behind the scenes, it has been over 20 years since Jeff has actually performed for an audience. So when a friend who was opening a coffee shop in his neighborhood asked if he would play the piano at their grand opening, Jeff was hesitant. But he agreed.

So as the rain poured down today, a small crowd of people gathered in this little coffee shop  - some there for the music, and some just lucky enough to have chosen this spot for their afternoon coffee or tea.  Jeff fumbled over his notes and equipment, did a little nervous rambling,  and humbly revealed that he was quite anxious to be playing in front of people again.

I was so inspired in that moment by his courage to get up there and do something that challenged him, that made him sweat, that probably made his heart beat a little harder, a little faster in his chest.

Of course, his passion for music is so obvious and once he got playing, he was in another world, and he took us all there too.

I am grateful for the reminder of how good performance art is for the soul. How important it is to turn the electronics off, leave the smart phone at home for an afternoon and go see a play, go to the ballet, listen to live music, go to a museum or an art gallery, or a poetry slam (Those are fun!).

And I am grateful for Jeff and his reminder to do the things that make our palms sweat and our hearts thump a little louder.