It’s a snowy March day in Wyoming and I’ve been thinking a lot about my Dad today. It’s true what people say, that the grief comes in waves. There are good days and bad days. Days when I don’t want to think or talk about it at all, and days where I can’t quite focus fully on anything else because he is on my mind. Some days it feels good to cry, and other days…
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One month. One month ago I was sitting at home on my yoga mat preparing a music playlist for my class and my brother called. “You need to come home Roz.” His voice cracked, “It’s time.” It’s a blur after that. A call to Michael, searching for a flight, packing, waiting, worrying, crying into Penny’s fur, laying down for an hour that felt useless, a four hour drive to Denver in the middle of the…
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I remember sitting beside you in church as a little girl, holding your hand as you moved through your rosary beads with your other one. We would squeeze our hands three times, a secret and silent code for ‘I love you’ and you’d wink at me and I’d pass it on to Mom. You would let me put your fancy rings on my little fingers. Together, we’d get our hands messy baking Hello Dollies and…
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Liz and I stand on my front porch hugging and crying after Chris drives away. “That fucker,” I hear her say through sobs, “Oh fuck, I hate change.” Her roly-poly physique makes for a comforting hug and I can’t help but smile through my tears. Liz is one of the kindest people I have ever known, but she has the mouth of a sailor. Somehow it’s endearing, just like everything else about her. Liz is…
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4.26.2011 (Written several weeks ago on my flight back to Hawaii.) Cruising altitude. We have been chasing the sun West across the Pacific and I just witnessed the kind of glorious sunset that brings tears to your eyes. I feel as though it was meant for me alone, because everyone on the plane has their window shades closed. I am reflective and thankful in this moment, even for the illness that plagued my body for…
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