Hold On Daddy

One month. One month ago I was sitting at home on my yoga mat preparing a music playlist for my class and my brother called.

“You need to come home Roz.” His voice cracked, “It’s time.”

It’s a blur after that.

A call to Michael, searching for a flight, packing, waiting, worrying, crying into Penny’s fur, laying down for an hour that felt useless, a four hour drive to Denver in the middle of the night. Michael told me to put my seat back and try to get some sleep.

‘Rhiannon’ came on the radio, by Dad’s favorite band, Fleetwood Mac and I knew it was his way of telling me not to worry.

“Just hold on Daddy. Hold on. I’m coming.” I said it over and over in my head until I lulled myself to sleep.



My phone buzzed in my pocket at 3:45am.



He couldn’t hold on. His body was too weak.

I didn’t make it to hold his hand and say goodbye.

My heart.



But I know he tried to wait for me. I know he tried so hard. A day later, my family would hand me the dry erase board he was using to communicate at the hospital, on which he had written, “Wait for Roz.”

He initialed it A.J.Y which makes me smile.


The most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen painted the sky that morning as the plane took off and I cried for my Daddy in my window seat above the clouds. He loved flying.

Maybe that’s where he wanted to say goodbye to me.

Up there in the peaceful morning sky.


Rest now, Daddy. I love you.






  1. virginia
    February 29, 2016 / 8:04 am

    Wow Roz–very nicely put, but now I’m bawling at my desk at work. Yikes!
    You sure were lucky 🙂

    • Rosalyn
      February 29, 2016 / 9:54 am

      Thanks Gin, it was so special to have you there. xo

  2. Michelle
    February 29, 2016 / 8:28 am

    What a beautiful and emotional tribute to your dad. You sure are lucky to have had such an amazing, supportive and lucky father, and he was blessed to have such a loving family. ❤

    • Rosalyn
      February 29, 2016 / 9:52 am

      Thank you Michelle, so good to hear from you. xoxo

  3. February 29, 2016 / 9:23 am

    Roz, when I read this I chocked up & tears started to flow! I can imagine how how difficult it is to lose a father! Sending you & Obama peace & love… Continue to write out it!

    • Rosalyn
      February 29, 2016 / 9:56 am

      Thank you sweet Oshi. And thank you for sending Obama love too. He’s a good guy. LOL Good ol’ autocorrect, gotta love it. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  4. Leigh McBain
    February 29, 2016 / 9:39 am

    Good morning Roz,

    Lovely words, so aptly used.

    I was fortunate to have been able to spend a good portion of that night with your dad and the rest of your family. Know you were missed, but also know that everyone involved including your dad, knew you were doing everything you could to be there.

    Your dad was doing what he could to hold on, but he also knew the time was near. That night was the first time I had seen Tony in a position where he didn’t believe the future was possible. It had been a long struggle for all of you.

    You may not have made it to the hospital in time to hold his hand that one last time, but you came as soon as was possible and he jnew it. You also did exactly what he would have wanted / needed when you spent the next couple of weeks with your mom. Tony would have been so proud of his 3 wonderful children and his loving wife for being so caring and supportive for one another and for being so strong.

    Take care, hope to see you again soon!!

  5. Rosalyn
    February 29, 2016 / 9:59 am

    Thank you Leigh. You and Jacquie were so special to Dad, I’m glad you were there. So many good memories with you guys over the years! Thank you for your constant love and support. xo

  6. Leigh McBain
    February 29, 2016 / 10:10 am

    Always here if you need anything; Jacquie and I could never have asked for better neighbors / friends!!

  7. Holly vinson
    February 29, 2016 / 12:02 pm

    Just beautiful Roz.. Was even better being able to hear it in person:) stay strong and love u tons

  8. Rob Weaver
    March 2, 2016 / 1:07 am

    That’s beautifully put. You have me wiping my eyes again.

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