Season of Ice

I have noticed that people in Wyoming drive a lot. Granted, we have a lot of wide open space here and towns are spread far apart, but I’m talking about the people who drive two blocks to the bar or a restaurant in town, or “walk” their dogs by driving and letting their dogs run beside the car. What’s up with that? It baffles me. Maybe it’s an older person, or someone who can’t walk, I get that. But I’ve seen it enough now that I don’t think that’s always the case. Anyway, I’ve silently scoffed at this laziness for the almost four years that I’ve lived here.

Until now.

Until I was walking to a friend’s house Friday night for a birthday party and absolutely ATE IT on a patch of ice. Now, let’s be clear here. It’s been a cold winter and I am quite aware of the ice. I have had enough “almost falls” (and mild actual falls) that I am now a cautious winter walker. The things you learn as a winter Wyomingite.

So I was walking, focused on the ground, trying to avoid any ice. This walk is maybe five minutes. I was stepping on crunchy snow where I could, and bare road when I could tell it was dry. But sometimes, even when it looks dry, it is not. Or in this case, when it looks wet, like a puddle, so you think you’re fine in your boots to step right in that puddle. So there I am, trying to get through this little mucky, wet, snowy section and I step in that puddle thinking it’s my best bet to avoid slipping. Well as luck would have it, there was a sheet of ice underneath that puddle. In the seconds after I realized this fact, life suddenly turned into slow motion.

I like to think my yoga practice over the years has improved my balance, so picture me, knowing I’m about to go down, but desperately fighting to stay on my feet. Legs going in different directions, arms flailing (I feel like a bad version of the running man occurred somewhere in here), but trying to stick my landing like a figure skater who wobbles on a triple salchow and just needs to land on that one leg. I am comparing myself to an ice skater, but let’s be real, this slow motion instant replay wasn’t about to end gracefully.

(Side Note: Until this moment, I thought it was spelled “sow cow.” Good to know for all my future ice skating endeavors.)

I think I yelled “NO!” or let out a shriek of some kind. I can’t be certain; we will have to review the tapes, but as you might have guessed, I was not successful in my attempt to stay vertical. My left knee took a hit, I tweaked my right shoulder, I put my hands down at some point because my gloves were soaked and I landed on my ass in the puddle.

My first thought: This is why they drive the two blocks. Noted.

Second thought: Sometimes in life you are a grown woman, sitting in an icy mud puddle on a Friday night, feeling like a five year old who might cry.

I took a quick look around to see if anyone noticed my ice capades, but I had no audience. Too bad for them, tonight’s show was full of death defying winter stunts!

I caught my breath and slowly picked myself off the ground, shaking my head and letting out a deep sigh as I tried to wipe off my wet jeans with my wet gloves.  “Of course this happened, after the week I just had,” I thought to myself, “Just the icing on the cake.” (Or rather the ICE-ing on the ground, hardy har har.) It wasn’t a great week, and I didn’t try very hard to pull myself out of the spiral of negativity I was in. I just let myself sit there in the muddy icy puddle of a funky week I was having.

Do you ever do that? One thing goes wrong in your day, and then another thing goes wrong and then suddenly you’ve declared it “One of THOSE days.” Or weeks, or months, or even year maybe. And let me tell you, declarations are powerful, so we need to be careful what we’re sending out into the universe. Negativity breeds negativity my friends and we attract what we speak.

And the funky mud puddle is different for everyone. When I hang out there too long, I get critical and judgmental – of myself and others, I’m uber sensitive, disconnected, ungrounded, and I’m usually making up stories in my head that are full of false assumptions about whatever current situations I’m in.

We’re human, it’s what we do. But the question is how do we get OUT of the funktastic states and mindsets we sometimes find ourselves in?

In her book, Rising Strong, one of my favorite authors/speakers/researchers/storytellers, Brene Brown talks in depth about this process of falling and rising, of emerging from, in my case, this literal and metaphorical mud puddle with courage to CHOOSE a new ending to our story. But she stresses that it is just that – a process, which she articulates as three fold:

1. The Reckoning: Walking into Our Story

Recognize emotion, and get curious about our feelings and how they connect with the way we think and behave.

2. The Rumble: Owning our Story

Get honest about the stories you’re making up about your struggles and challenge yourself to determine what’s truth, what’s self-protection and what must change to live a “wholehearted” life.

3. The Revolution

Write a new ending to your story based on what you learned in the rumble and improve the way you engage with the world.

I debated turning around and going home after I fell, but decided that would have just made me feel sorry for myself and continue to wallow in my funk. Instead I chose to go to the party, wet ass and all. I was welcomed warmly by my friends and coworkers, and a nice big fire in the backyard to boot, where I promptly parked myself backwards to dry off, and laugh about my ridiculous SOW COW extravaganza in the streets of Saratoga.

We always, always, always have a choice. We can always rewrite the story. We can always turn the moment around, turn the day around, turn our lives around.

In the month of December, I dove into a 4-week IGOLU course with my friend Jacki Carr who is a wonderful goal coach, speaker and writer. Jacki led me and nine other women through some inspiring and soul searching work that focused on things like personal legacy, timelining, vision and goals and declarations. It is truly powerful work and I bring it up because during the course, we each created our own “Shift List” –  a list of methods we use to shift ourselves from that mud puddle of a negative space to one that is more positive, loving and connected to our best self. We all have our own ways of dealing with our funks. For me, fresh air and nature are huge, as are dog walks, running or any kind of sweat session, yoga, bubble baths, alone time, calling or emailing a friend (or my mama!), reggae music, and writing (oh hello blog I haven’t written on in a year!).These are the go-to methods that help me get that shift in perspective and attitude that I sometimes need.

What’s on your shift list?